Mumbai Attacks and the Morons of Numerology

When times are tough people seem to grasp at straws and in uncertain times like these, numerology seems to be the latest straw. From recession-worried businessmen to votebank-worried politicians, numerologists seem to be in high demand these days. These people somehow seem to think that personal and global events can be influenced by changing the value of a number, a date or by adding or deleting an alphabet to change the numerological value of a word. However often the claims are ludicrous by any stretch of the imagination and nonchalantly contradictory. I am amazed to learn how many people believe in such moronic claims and pay top money to actually receive recommendations from these charlatans.

Here and here are two such contradictory claims on Numerology which appeared in the Times Of India during the same week. One claimed the value obtained by adding a set of numbers, in this case the number 8, symbolized peace and prosperity and the other claimed it to symbolize destruction.

My comments on one of these articles are in black

Mumbai bogged down by unlucky number 18

MUMBAI: The emotional outburst against terrorists (who came in boats) and politicians (who’ll come for votes) is being circulated as text messages and e-mails. One interesting outcome of this is that many citizens want their city to be renamed back to ‘Bombay’ as they feel that it was much better and luckier than the present name, Mumbai. And there’s also the luck factor.

Celebrated numerologist Sanjay B Jumaani also prefers the name ‘Bombay’. ” N u m e r i c a l ly speaking, the original name of the city adds up to the number 17, which symbolises peace and prosperity. On the other hand, Mumbai adds up to the number 18, which has negative shades and symbolises materialism striving to destroy spirituality,’’ Jumaani said.

Now why stop at 17 ? why not go one step further and add those two numbers as well. This will give us the number 8, which according to numerologists “brings in destruction”. Never mind that the Chinese consider this number lucky for equally idiotic reasons.

Now how do these numerologists arrive at the number 17 and 18 for a word? It’s by attributing arbitrary values to the letters of the alphabet and attributing imaginary virtues to them. Some celebrated (read demented and delusional) astrologers like Cheiro publicized these values based on chaldean numerology, which is now followed by his equally demented followers all over the world. But what about languages, you ask. The same word is spelled differently in different languages. So how can we ascertain the value of a word when it is written in a different language? And, why should we use English as the gold standard. Also most Indian languages use much larger set of alphabets than English and many Indian words cannot be spelled correctly in English as there is no equivalent English alphabet for it (e.g. In Hindi the pronouns like “Tum” or “tu” cannot be written in English correctly because English alphabet does not have the equivalent character) So does it mean we don’t have a numerological value for those alphabets and hence the words. Local Numerologists I am sure will then come up with values for those alphabets as well. But don’t make the mistake of asking them the basis of those numbers to the alphabets, because they willl come up with equally long winded but moronic answers to them also.

According to Jumaani, 17 (Bombay) was a highly spiritual number, and can be expressed symbolically by the eightpointed Star of Venus: a symbol of “Peace and Love’’. He added that Mumbai’s 18 was a warning of treachery, deception by others, as well as danger from the elements, like storms, water, fire and explosions.

WOW!!!..now now…look at the hocus pocus Jumaani engages in to fool the public. It’s just playing with words and hoping that the public doesn’t catch the trick. It’s nothing but verbal legerdemain. So how can the number 17 be expressed “symbolically” with an eight pointed star? No one knows. And notice how Stars and numbers are linked seamlessly as if that is a given. I hope Mr. Jumani did pass high school maths.

And how did he come up with the attributes to these numbers, like treachery and deception ? Actually, yesterday, while I was sleeping a white bearded man, who claimed to be God ,came and told me the secret recipe and asked me to share it with the human race. Here’s the secret recipe:

First take a few numbers in a bowl. Chant a few made-up incantations (swear words work equally well. Don’t worry, the people are to dumb to catch onto it). Shake the bowl vigorously. Then stare at them till your eyes hurt. Chant a few more mantras. Try to “feel” the “vibration” of each number and then using the “powers of intuition” write down all the words you “feel” about this number in the next 10 seconds. And Voila !! There you have it. A designer number with attributes right out of the catwalks of paris

But not everyone agrees with Jumaani’s number play. P C Agrawal, an astrophysics researcher from the TataInstitute of Fundamental Research, said: “There is no scientific logic behind certain names and numbers being lucky or unlucky. But I do not like names being arbitrarily changed, like Madras to Chennai, Calcutta to Kolkata.’’

Ah ! Finally someone sane and bright.

Ardent followers of astrology and numerology, however, argue that not everything can be explained through pure science. An infotech professional from SEEPZ in Andheri (East) Umesh Chhajed, remarked: “Anything and everything that can prevent the recurrence of terror should be done, including changing the name back to Bombay if it is good for the city.’’

This is perhaps the biggest misconception and the most illogical reason given by believers – Oh ! science cannot explain everything, so this must be true.

This type of Logic follows the pattern:

If A is claimed.
B is a method used to show that claims C, D, E are false but not A
so A must be true

This assumes that method B is absolute and has the means to prove or disprove everything. If we cannot disprove something using B it must be true. I can claim that superman exists and I am sure science won’t be able to prove he doesn’t. So should we now start believing in superman also ?

Science has never made a claim to have the powers to explain everything and scientists will always be the first to admit that it is an ever evolving field, where new methods, principles and theory is always welcomed, as long as they are based on correct observations, assumptions, inference and conclusion. Can astrology or numerology pass all four of these criteria?

Chhajed has sent an online petition to the prime minister asking him to “cripple terrorism at its source; including the terror camps within India and neighbouring countries’’. To give more credence to his theory, Jumaani said that places like Srinagar, Kashmir, Gujarat and Sri Lanka all added up to the number 18.

Each and every place on earth had some sort of bad history associated with it, including USA, France, England, Germany etc etc. And what about Darfur, vietnam, hiroshima and nagasaki ? Does that mean all these names also have the number 18 associated with it. I wonder how brain-dead do you have to be to believe in this utter stupidity.

“I suggested that Kashmir should be spelled as Kashmier, and the Indian army is already using this spelling on their website,’’ he said. Social activist Shaina N C, who organised a citizens’ movement at Marine Drive on Tuesday, felt that “whether it’s Mumbai or Bombay, the bottomline is that people have had enough and want strong assertive action from the state’’.

LOL. That’s a first. Kashmir to kashmier!!!!! So changing a name would change the situation?  And, whom does changing a name favor? The Indians or the terrorists. How is Mr. Jumaani so sure it will help the Indian army and not the terrorists. Is the Indian army sure Mr Jumaani is not a L-e-T spy trying to sabotage our efforts in kashmir?

Jumaani said: “Even if you re-spell the city as ‘Mumbaii’ or call it ‘Mumbaidevi’, it will reflect positively. But Mumbai is just not happening as per my calculations.’’

Sir, Thank you for your calculations. It’s a miracle of nature that an insane person like you is still roaming scot-free , talking trash and polluting our brains. And, it is surely the kindess of the people of India that they haven’t put you behind bars for chicanery or fraud. But, I hope that they catch your quackery soon and relegate you to the heaps of trash that rust away in junk yards. That will be the day of true awakening.

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